Inferiority Complex Revisited

Well, I treated this topic last week and got a few reactions in my inbox (wonder why you guys won't comment on the post itself). Anyway back to the matter, it is obvious I'm not the only one who noticed that our people have lost touch with their history and will do anything as long as it's 'UnAfrican' (doubt if there's a word like that, but you know what I mean). To these people, anything indigenous is local. My friends feel its worse among the Igbos (I have mostly Igbo friends because I grew up in the Eastern part of Nigeria).

MY THREE WORDS ...FOR NOW

No, this is not a new year resolution but it is still early enough to organise your year. I believe in a practice of defining my thought and actions using as little words as possible. The goal is to use words as triggers for actions I intend to take and maybe other action I would like to avoid. Sometimes, I write it on a sticky paper and place it where I can see it immediately I am  awake in the mornings. I repeat it to myself until its etched on my brain, I type it into my phones and use it as reminders to stay on track. I wanted to title the post 'my three words for 2014' but let me not be hasty.

This Is Love.

A dear friend of mine sent this picture to me. At first, I thought: what a cute cartoon. Then I really studied the pictures and it was really lovely with a deep message which is clear for all to see. So I decided to share. This is better viewed on a PC or tablet because it might be too little to be viewed on a mobile phone, I guess. I smiled to the end. Enjoy. Wishing everyone a productive week ahead. XO.

'Rene.

Inferiority Complex

I was chatting with a friend a few days ago and he mentioned that the Igbo language was going extinct. I sort of disagreed with him, but he insisted saying that other Nigerian languages will outlive the Igbo language because, the average Igbo parent will speak English to his children because he feels it's modern and classy. I slowed down a bit on the argument and thought deeply about it; it was not entirely a lie. Other tribes are so proud of their language, but you find Igbos still speaking the English language to fellow Igbos. I cannot explain why this is so, but I will simply say it's some sort of inferiority complex. Going on facebook, a friend wrote this, "...4 as long as Africans do not invent their own things, they continue to import foreign goods then, we are not totally free from slavery. We shall continue to remain dat way until we decide to take our destiny into our own hands. We must drop d issue of ethnicity, hatred, political differences and come together as one to develop our country to the maximum and our continent as a whole". [GM]

Inferiority Complex is not a problem of the Igbos alone. It is a problem of so many people; men, women, young, old etc. Inferiority Complex is a feeling of inadequacy and people will go to any length to live up to their perceived societal standards. How else can one explain the craze for the bleaching of one's skin (which is unhealthy), wearing expensive clothes and shoes (which are got through unmentionable means), riding cars (which are pretty expensive), all in a bid to measure up to standards.

We tend to think that the Western way of life is better. Don't get me wrong, Westernization is good and has done a lot of good for/to us, but should we discard everything African/Nigerian to become Western? Japan as we know was not colonized, but they are colonizers. If the Colonial Masters hadn't come, we would have developed anyway, albeit slowly. Then we would have been stuck mainly with familiar cultures and traditions instead of confusing and conflicting ideas. Or are we trying to say that nothing African is good? I doubt if anybody thinks that way (I may be wrong).

Let us strive to improve ourselves in a way that it will benefit everyone and not just ourselves. That way life will be better and there won't be unhealthy competition among us, all because we feel inferior and are not proud of ourselves.

One Love,

Lae'

Gay Rights

A bill was recently passed in Nigeria calling for the imprisonment of gay couples. This gave rise to many people speaking out, both for and against the bill. I am not homophobic but I feel this gay issue has been over-flogged.

I am a Christian and my Bible tells me that God created Adam and Eve. I do not know what other religions preach, but every living thing has two species; male and female. There is obviously a reason for that. I do not understand the attraction to people of the same sex, it is a huge deviation from the norm but that is their business.

I do not support the 14 year jail term because a lot of criminals get away with their crimes in Nigeria. The government should get busy with trying to create a secure country that cares about and caters to the needs of its citizens and not bother about jailing consenting adults who have chosen to live their lives with people of the same sex. On the other hand, I do not support the gay people who make a lot of noise asking for their rights.

What rights exactly? Their (gay) sexual preferences should not be shoved down our throats. They should keep it behind closed doors. Fornicators and adulterers do not ask for rights, their sexual escapades are in secret because sex is wrong outside marriage. Gay people act like victims a lot. I do not support their been killed or hurt, it is their choice, but they should let heterosexuals have a say too. It is not compulsory to like or accept the gay lifestyle.

I'm yet to even understand why they are allowed to adopt kids or have surrogates have kids for them. If everyone adopts the gay lifestyle, where will the children come from? I also fear for children who grow up with same sex parents. They grow up having a warped sense of what relationships should be. A lot of people have adopted this whole gay thing because they feel it's stylish, I'm sure it will fizzle out sooner than people expect. I do not and will never support them but I do not have a problem with them. Everyone will answer for his deeds; why bother myself with other peoples issues when I've got mine?

One Love,
Lae'

LAST WEEKEND...

Hello people. I dont know how you spent your weekend but mine was productive. Before the weekend, the days draaaaaaagged, it was unbelievable. the heat was oppressive, I was lazy. I went to bed tired and I woke up even more exhausted. I couldn't concentrate at work and wished I could split myself into two: be at work as ladybosschick and be at home, on my bed, fast asleep. So, anyway, before I knew it, Friday. I zapped through work and was already whistling before the close of time. I had a plan for the weekend. And my plan was to have NO plan.

SATURDAY: I woke up slowly like a cat and stretched. I was already smiling. I felt good. it was almost 8 am and I hadn't slept this well in months. I prayed and opened my eyes. I counted my blessings. I love my house. I hate leaving it to go to work everyday. It took time, effort and a lot of Pinterest to turn it into my own personal haven. from the yellow curtains to the ankara pillows. From my matching yellow cutlery to the magnet stuck on the door of my fridge. While I pondered on the sort of meal I would make...risotto? Unripe plantains? Couscous?...it occurred to me that some people didn't have the blessings of food and house. I complain about my job all the time but I cannot deny that it helps to pay my bills. I thought of the people working long hours at my office; the security guard who lived on the premises and ate once a day, my own staff who by midday would be grumpy from hunger. On Saturdays, it was almost impossible finding good paces to eat. So, I made a mammoth lunch, (jollof rice, fried fish, plantains and steamed veggies) dished it into containers/covered bowls and delivered it to work. #Good-feeling.

SUNDAY: After church, I did my weekly grocery shopping. I watched a Chinese movie recently and decided I would do Eastern cuisine for a while so my shopping basket was filled with things like soy sauce, Thai glass noodles, Thai rice paper, Basmati and Jasmine rice, canned shitake mushrooms. I even bought a couple of chopsticks. Lol. This will be fun. Then because I have been on good behaviour, saw a movie (Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs) and had an ice-cream, the most decadent one with chocolate wafers and all. Back home, it was Beyonce on my stereo belting out my favourite song 'XO' which by the way I have played like 3258362 times already. 

So what is the essence of my post? I have not been doing so well of late. Working so hard, writing an academic thesis, managing a cranky boss, managing my own hectic life that sometimes I feel so ungrateful and a tad unhappy from all the stress. But like a phase, it passed and I walked on sunshine. This weekend, I created happiness.

p.s...Lemme share a lil miracle. While typing this post, my computer restarted itself and shut itself down. I was scared I had lost all the work. But I didn't panic. I turned PC on, and voila, my words are still here. Yay.

 'Rene.

Domestic Violence (Part 1)

Domestic Violence is one topic that irks me, but I cannot pretend it doesn't exist. It's quite rampant now, everybody is complaining especially the women. I've always been silent about domestic violence because it seemed far-fetched. I only read about them and had never seen or known anyone who was a victim until yesterday.

She is a family friend and a very respectable lady. Her marriage was barely two years old, they are blessed with a son and she has a good job. Then somewhere out of the blues I heard her marriage was over and that she had moved out of her matrimonial home. Why I asked, and I was told her husband panel beats her almost on a daily basis. I was shocked, my mind travelled far and wide looking for answers. Answers to what exactly?

I thought about it all night and found no answers. There are many types of abuse; emotional, physical, verbal, economical, mental, sexual etc but I see no reasons for them. Women are not the only victims, men and children are victims as well, but at what point do relationships go bad? At what point do things get so bad and people feel it's okay to victimize people they are supposed to love and maybe protect? Instead of hurting them, why not let them go? There must be people somewhere who will love and appreciate them.

Abuse in any form is evil. It strips the victim of every self worth, some even die from abuse. Is it so hard to love? Why can't we treat others the way we want others to treat us? Is that really too much to ask for in life? Let us all try to practice love, because God is love.

One Love,
Lae'.