Boko Haram Massacre in Yobe State: Countless Questions

Yesterday started really well, I had no inkling I was going to hear/read one of the saddest news in recent times. Boko Haram's attack in Federal Government College Buni Yadi, Yobe State left me speechless. I've read blogs, seen the different views and opinions of people on the incident, a lot of people blamed the government for the attack, I only have questions and I know there's no one to answer me.

Forget the Goverment for now but, who are these faceless mass murderers? What are they angry about?

My Romantic Weekend: One Week After

                                    

I've been heartbroken since February  14th but I feel better and can now share my story :). My friends have always called me 'unromatic', 'anti-romantic', 'too serious', but I'm only being ME. I've tried severally to become their version of romantic and all that, I'm still trying. Anyway, DH works out of town and we travel back and forth to visit one another once or twice a month, but he comes to us more because of Bambino (travelling with a baby isn't child's play).

Keep Calm And Put Your Dresses On!

So, on Saturday, I was traipsing around my favourite mall, shopping, looking at clothes and jewellery even though I knew I wouldn't buy anything. So I decided to treat myself to a movie. It was showing by 9pm and it was still just after 8. I had an hour to kill. I bought a chocolate brownie and sat down to enjoy, thinking of a post for this blog. Two girls walked past me. They both wore miniskirts and tank tops with weaves past their butts. They were giggling and taking pictures on their phones and trying to stylishly pull the hems of their skirts down. I was irritated. Why wear a skirt so short you risk exposing your panties AND try to pull the hems down? I looked around and realized that 80% of the girls were wearing short hems: Short dresses, short skirts, daisy dukes (micro shorts).

On Relationships

So Valentine's Day has come and gone. Mine was almost non-existent despite my big plans for the day (I'm still hurting about it, but will blog when I feel better :). So I decided to visit blogs over the weekend to read good love stories (whether it was love between partners, friends or love shown to the sick or needy) and be happy, but boy i was disappointed, the picture above sums it up (a man who is nonchalant about his lady's feelings). I read mostly sad stories of women frustrated in their relationships, the men could not even pretend for one day out of 365 days in a year (that is bad) to show them love

My First Love.

I was about 2 years old when I fell in love. No, I'm not talking about romance. At that age, it would have been ridiculous. My first love wasn't a boy or Barbie dolls(never liked them). It was a book. Books amazed me and I used to stare in wonder at my mother's books, kept in a high shelf so my itchy fingers would not reach them. I wondered what adults saw in them. Did they have pictures inside? Was there something I wasn't allowed to know? The very first book I read was Town Mouse and Country Mouse. I was 3 years old and it had an audio cassette.

Valentine's Day Suggestions

It's a few more days to Valentine's Day. I need not go into details of its history, but it has been linked to a certain Valentine who did some good deeds and ended up a Saint. That is really a pointer that Valentine's Day should be spent doing good. February 14th is generally called Lovers Day, hence the reason for the many giftts exchanged that day. Loads of immorality go down that day (when it isn't the primary purpose), but that is not the reason for this post.

Let's get down to business: Some people say everyday is Valentine's Day in their homes or relationships, but I do not think that is possible.

20 Things I wish I Could Do Better

There are days I literally think I am Superwoman. Sometimes I have to check I am not wearing a pink vest underneath my blouse. In my mind, Superwoman would wear a cute pink costume with a white cape. I always say there is nothing I cannot do if I put my mind to it. But sometimes, a girl just gotta know her limits. There are things I cannot do very well or still working on getting the hang of it. This a list of humorous things and not-so-humorous-things i honestly wish I could be better at doing.

1. Roll my tongue. It totally irks me to find out that there is no body part of mine I can manipulate. I have a friend (won't mention her name) who can flare her nostrils. Each time she does it, I break a rib laughing. Normally, she is so prim and proper lady so this is out of character for her. I can wink, though. Does that qualify?

SOCIAL MEDIA AND COMMUNICATION.

I will start by saying  I love my phones. Everyday when I wake up, after reaching for my bible, I check to make sure my phones are by my side. Why do I do this? I hardly tweet (I send out a tweet once in 6 months, maybe), I don't do a lot of Facebook unless its to check for funny pictures that would brighten my day. I do Whatsapp to communicate with people who aren't on my BB contact list, like my older sister, my aunts etc. Chatting with my sister is a waste of time. I sent her a Whatsapp message in December and she replied last week. Lol. I like Instagram because it gives me a glimpse into the lives of the people I know, in terms of pictures, that is. So why do I love my phones? Because I know that knowledge is at my fingertips. The benefits of social media cannot be overemphasized. The major advantage is that it is Fast. You get your message across quicker, you make friends instantly, you hear about a wedding to a classmate you otherwise wouldn't have heard of because the last time you saw said classmate, it was 15 years ago. So you quickly send off a quick congratulatory message. You send birthday messages to old friends which without Fb, you wouldn't even remember their last names. Thank God for social platforms. 

I used to be a chronic BB user and couldn't wait to chat away and ping some of my best 'buddies' until I realised one thing: it was all superficial. I used to have 232 contacts on my list, chatted periodically with a random 20 and had 3 or 4 very close friends I chatted with everyday. So why did I need 232 people on my phone again? Some people actually forget who I am until I change my DP to a picture of myself. That is when the pings start rushing in. Your real friend will not wait until you change your DP or update your PM, before saying hello. Your real friends will not rely on FB to remind them of your birthday. They reminded you of the birthday weeks in advance. Your real friends are not being told of your wedding on FB. They are the ones helping you plan the wedding. Your real friends don't need ur DP to see the picture of your new baby/car/house...you showed them a personal picture. 

I have a job coming up and lost my client's number along the way, for reasons beyond my control. I had to resort to using my PM to ask for it. Nobody had it. Everyone suggested I ping her but her phone was bad. I went to Facebook, sent numerous mails and I got no reply. Wouldn't it be simpler if I just had her number and rang her instead? Lae pointed out that BB's have made people stop making regular phone calls and I agree because last week I decided to call a good friend of mine and it turned out she was rather curious as to why I had called instead of just 'pinging'. Hmmm.

How many of your social media contacts have you go their numbers? For me, I think like 10. I'm also guilty of this crime too. As I mature, everyday, I realise that I've reduced the amount of time I've spent on social platforms.  My typical week on these platforms is spent doing the following:

1. Check Linda Ikeji every hour because if anybody woke up from a 20 year long coma, a quick visit to LIB would keep you abreast of affairs while you were gone. 

2. Facebook, to check Everyday Jokes. The jokes are hilarious. Oh, and to also post one of my random quotes and say a quick hello or like a picture.

3. Google. I'm not sure I can survive without Google. Where else can I check my spellings? Or hunt for the recipe of lasagne? Or research how I can write a good thesis? Or how best a rock my skinny jeans? Or which song was recently released by my favourite female artist?( if you know me well, you will know who she is).

4. Bellanaija. Fine, mature, 'non-gossipy' articles. No cyber-bullying too. So it is a plus.

5. A random selection of blogs. Majority are fashion and/or lifestyle inspired.

6. Instagram.

6. Last but not the least is BBM. Lae and I though, thousands of miles apart, send pics, links, 'stuff' back and forth. and when our Phones decide to dislike each other and refuse to send something, we resort to email. She is among the tiny group of friends that I actually look forward to receiving a link/ping/picture/message from. 

Do people even realise that one can download free books with their phones, off the internet? I discovered Okada Books and I'm in book heaven now. OK, enough of the free publicity. 

What about people who use social media as a primary platform to look of romantic relationships? That is a story is for another day.

My advice to people is to stop living their lives on these platforms. Some people want everyone to see so that their egos are fed constantly. That's not cool. Learn not to post every single thing of your life on them. Not every one wants to know about a recent break up, or mental breakdown you had. Not every one wants to know that your Boo is the best. Keep it private and keep some of the magic to yourself. While uploading your pictures, keep it classy. 10, 15 years from now, would you be proud of some of the things you had uploaded for the whole world to see? Maybe I should just write an article on Social Media Etiquette? Will do.

Love, Peace and a productive week ahead.

XO...'Rene.

Reflections

Pardon me but I seem to do a lot of thinking. Reflection is a daily thing for me, try it and you will be amazed. Today's post consists of two unconnected issues but they really got me thinking. Two days ago, I came across a post on Linda Ikeji's blog about a church in Enugu that asked its unmarried ladies to wear wedding dresses to church if they wanted to get married this year. The next Sunday young ladies stormed the church in their wedding dresses, they were given special seats and asked to sow seeds (every Nigerian knows what seed sowing entails). There were pictures to prove it was true, but I still had my doubts.

I checked the date to be sure it wasn't April 1st, it definitely wasn't. It was the most ridiculous thing I've come across in recent times.

Story of My Life; The Best Advice I Ever Got

Two weeks ago, a teacher at school asked us to talk about the best tutor we've ever had and why the person is the best. Everybody in class did just that but my thoughts didn't end there. I thought about the best things in my life and finally realised the best advice I ever got.

It all started from long ago. My growing up was fun, I had the best parents and friends (I still do), but just like life isn't perfect, mine wasn't: I had a medical condition. We didn't know about this condition till my teens. It was physical and you will never know unless I showed you. I grew up in pains, my parents were in pains as well watching me suffer and not being able to help.

Just Do It!

So many times we put off things we can do in a second, and we let them linger for so long. I procrastinate a lot, but I'm suddenly learning to psyche myself to do things as soon as they need to be done.

I found myself in a sad position recently, but I caused my own problems. I have wonderful friends and family members as well, but somewhere along the line I stopped keeping in touch with some of them. There was no fight between us, just that I kept postponing the wish to call them. It lingered between 2 months and 2 long years (who does that? Nobody but me). The bad part was that I felt so guilty and thought up a lot of reasons to give if I finally got around calling them. The guilt didn't let me call and days stretched into weeks, months, a year, two years. My guilt multiplied and I needed to free myself because it was such a bad feeling.

Anyway two days ago, I promised to call all these friends and family members I haven't called in ages. I did, and guess what happened? They were so happy to hear from me, I rejoiced with some who had good news to share, laughed with those who had funny gists they had been saving for me, and cried with the grieving ones as well. They did not even ask why I had not called them all that time (though they all said it had been a while). So all the excuses I made up in my head were not necessary. I feel so good for making those calls, I promised to call more often and I will do just that.

This is applicable in our everyday lives, we put off things we would have just done anyway. I've heard severally that delay is dangerous, it also leaves one with guilt and regrets. Whatever it is you've put off doing, just do it now, while you still can. Leave no room for regrets. There is a good feeling that comes with accomplishing tasks, try it today and thank me later (:D speaking from experience).

PS: I just realised I have a couple more calls to make. I'm out friends and do not forget to do it just now (whatever it is).

One Love,
Lae'.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PART 2.

I present Mr and Mrs X. They have been married 5 years, have two kids and another on the way. Their marriage has had its ups and downs. I have seen them so very deeply in love that the birds sing love songs. I have also witnessed their many fights that sometimes ended up in a hospital/police station. You see, I am their neighbour. Their last episode started this way. Mr X's mom (aka. The Mother In-Law)came to spend 3 months at her son's. (I disapprove of parents spending unspecified periods with their married kids unless it is an important visit). Mrs X began grumbling about MIL who refused to eat Mrs X cooked meals (too much pepper, no salt).  

Mark 4:35-41: Lessons Learned

This is not a religious blog but like I always say; I am a Christian, so a lot of my beliefs will be reflective in my posts. Back to the reason for the post. One of the best television networks I'm grateful for having ever stumbled upon is, the Eternal Word Television Network (EWTN) Global Catholic Television. All their programmes are inspiring, educating and what one needs in this world. I try to tune in mostly for the daily mass which is aired thrice daily. 

There are days when I feel the sermon is directed at me, today was one of such days. The gospel was taken from Mark 4: 35-41. This Bible passage isn't strange to so many Christians, but the verse that struck me was '39'- "they woke him and said to him, 'Master, do you not care? We are lost!'.

February: In Memorial

We made it to February (yay). Congratulations to all of us who made it to this new month. I hope we've been sticking to our resolutions; if we haven't, it's not too late to start again because the year is still very fresh. A lot of us are counting down to the 14th to celebrate with partners, family and friends.

While we thank God for our lives, let us also remember our loved ones who left the world before us. I do not mean to upset anyone, but we cannot go through life without reflecting about its end. Even if we are unsure of everything that happens on earth, one sure thing is death. Every man will die, at the appointed time.