The picture has done the asking. I am afraid of almost everything in the world (yes I'm almost panphobic). I may have to list my fears but please do not assume I made them up, or that I'm just using big words (as you may have to consult your dictionary). It's that serious.
'Rene says I'm morbid (*rme*, doubt if it's that bad). Another friend Thelma says she's never seen a more fearful person. My mom even scolds me (probably indirectly trying to make me quit my fears). Even DH calls me 'The King of Fear' (in my case Queen would be more appropriate *winks*). Anyway back to the matter at hand. I cannot explain why I am afraid of 'everything'. Some of my fears are even extreme opposites and that bothers me a bit. Maybe I was made that way, and I'm sure there are many others like my humble self. I'm trying very hard to get rid of some of them, but I know it's going to take some time. For example, I'm claustrophobic as well as agoraphobic. My phobia list includes: acrophobia, arachnophobia (that's one of the worst), aviophobia, aquaphobia, algophobia. I think they are the few fears I have (the list isn't that long then).
So yesterday I embarked on an hour flight with my mom and bambino, but the flight was delayed because of the unfavourable weather. We left after a while but that was the longest one hour of our lives. I have never experienced such turbulence before. There was so many air pockets and it was a 10:00pm flight. People were unnervingly calm,but you could see the fears in their eyes. I was holding on to my seat and my mom was praying away. I thought about the experience today and couldn't help laughing, but there was no time for such laughter yesterday. Like they say in the movies or novels, 'I saw my life flash before me' (lol, well mine didn't flash before before me). Despite all my fears, I am not afraid of death. In fact, when all that was happening, I was asking myself if I had hidden psychic powers because earlier in the day I made a rare and delicious lunch, popped a bottle of wine and we toasted to a better 2014 (DH inclusive). Now don't get me wrong-I did not do all these on January 1st, in fact I had noodles on that day. Imagine if anything had happened yesterday (thank God it didn't), the gist would have been that I had a premonition, hence the sumptuous meal, wine and toast on January 5th.
Even though I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of graves (phew). I need stop here because the mere mention has freaked me out. I still feel cremation is better (well that's my opinion). Well, we landed in one piece and my mom prayed out loud thanking God and even waved her hands in the air. I did mine silently in my mind and even when mom asked me to pray in thanksgiving, I told her I'd done that already. Bambino slept away (without a care in the world. Such innocence) . It was another reason to say thank you Lord for everything, because everyday is a blessing.
Please share your fears and thoughts.
One Love,
Lae'.
well, yeah I still say that Lae' is morbid. She talks about life and death as though she were discussing tea and biscuits...and while I act strong, I am scared of death. Not so much as where I am headed, but the nothingness that follows? Does it mean we will lose all senses, all joys, all EVERYTHING? Can't pee if I want? Can't scratch myself if I want? Can't wake up at 3 am and watch a movie? Please don't get me started. Back to less fearful topics, biko. I have a phobia of ants. The small black ones, arghhh. Maybe it is because a help of ours forced me to drink cough syrup when I was 7 years old and those little ants were dancing inside the syrup! Since then, if I see a small colony of ants, I break out in goose bumps. I'm claustrophobic and have fainting spells after a while.
ReplyDeleteOutside this, I'm thinking really hard if I've got any other phobias. Well, I guess not, unless I include a phobia of failure.
Hmmmmm, phobias... Top of my list will be failphobia(if there's ever such a word). I am so scared of failing, infact I have such a morbid fear of failingbthat I don't start anything. Bad, huh! See me bursting with ideas but just as soon as the ideas come, a million others pop up countering and pointing out failure points in the original idea. I think it comes from years of countless harsh criticisms and being told I can't do what I want because I wasn 't supposed to. And then, there's my fear of travelling (which is weird because I love seeing new places), claustrophobia(especially in libraries), fear of dark places, crawling things(especially snakes), guess I'm a weirdo really. And don't get me started on my fear for authority figures! I just break out in cold sweat and start fidgeting with my fingers or earrings! I mean, who does that?!
ReplyDeleteI don't want to believe U r scared of anything Kay. U r one of the strongest women I know.
Delete